I was chatting with one of my friends the other night who has the same problem as me, then decided to write something about it, because April finally has gone.
I’ve been always trying to avoid mentioning my problem directly to the public, because this could psychologically make me feel protected. But from some of my works or words, some of you may have noticed already, that I have been experiencing mental disease. Technically it’s called Major Depressive Disorder, which you normally say “depression”.
By the age of 12, my world just started collapsing. When I say “collapsing”, it’s not like something happened immediately, it’s more like you started feeling something was less and less. You kept losing them, and there was no way back. In 2009 of my high school, I started to have some obvious signs that showed my depressive tendencies. However, because of the cultural context and ideologies of people there, no one cared about your mental or psychological health, even your own family. In 2011, I came to Australia by myself to study. After I had been feeling “life is such beautiful” for the first time ever for around half a year, it started coming back again.
Until now, it has been almost 9 years, that I have lived with depression. I don’t like April, because I was officially diagnosed with depression in April 2014, and I almost died in April 2016. But what makes me proud, (however sometimes/usually struggling with) is after nearly 9 years, I’m still alive.